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Okie tool kit

A hammer, a screwdriver, and a pair of pliers. Elmo Luke gots two thirds of a Okie tool kit. He done lost his pliers.

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road locomotive

An extremely large, poor-handling automobile with sloppy power steering and an automatic transmission, driven by a person who doesn't really know how to drive.Road locomotives were common in the...

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rch

A standard of measurement, the basis of the nano rch and the pico rch. OK, Lem, we gotta move this mill just an RCH, so go easy with the hammer.

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Tree Frog

A mythical brand of beer popular in the 1960s. It never existed, but it sure was good! Wish I had me a Tree Frog Beer to suck on right now!

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ricer

A doofus who can't even drive a stick shift, but who goes to great expense trying to make his car LOOK fast without increasing it's performance. All show and no blow! Look at that silly Honda with the...

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Cadillac Driver

A person who "drives" a Cadillac.A person who "drives" like a person "driving" a Cadillac.A person who:Does not signal turns or lane changes.Doesn't clear snow off the back window.Never checks the...

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jewish piano

Wonderful old expression for a large, bronze cash register. It has many keys on the front. When you press a key, it "rings up" the amount you pressed, and it rings a bell. You have to press several...

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automatic

An automotive transmission created for people missing an arm or a leg.An automotive transmission for people who do NOT know how to drive.An automatic transmission is like training wheels on a bike....

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cut the cheese

To fart.Something that someone has done on the backside of the Wisconsin commemorative quarter. Who cut the cheese on the back of that coin?

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slacker

A lazy-ass offspring of a yuppie and a soccer mom. A slacker puts off studying, learning, working. The slacker's favorite expression is "whatever." Madison is a slacker. She never does her homework.

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responsibility

A character trait that embarrasses democrats and liberals, who use their activist judges to pass laws so minorities and bums will not be responsible for their actions. The liberals say that society...

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mince

To walk with delicate, deliberate, feminine steps, often with exagerated, delicate hand gestures.The distinct gait of the poof, as bait for trawling for other pouves. Realy Ernie, if you want to play...

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San Francisco

A city across the bay from Oakland.It is known for it's wonderful international cuisine, its legions of bums (which are called homeless in San Francisco), pouves, a lawless mayor, and Tommy's Joynt....

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camel jockey

An Arab. An A-Rab. A person from Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq, Egypt, Yemen, or Lybia. Walking up and down the streets of Damascus, I saw several thousand camel jockeys.

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NASCAR

An auto-racing sport watched by rural people, rednecks, southerners, and people from America's heartland. Their fondness for this sport causes no end of grief to liberal twits and democrat oafs, who...

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issues

1. Topics for discussion or debate.2. Euphemism for "problems" used by women and effeminate men. These people want to appear to be too polite to say "problems," so they say "issues." Joe: "I have...

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Oakland

A wonderful city on the east shore of San Francisco Bay. It is known for its fine weather, Lake Merritt, its beautiful hills, and its sideshows. Oakland is my home town. It is also home to 10,000...

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